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Barkley's Mouth is all about the NBA as we speak on what's going down in the Association today and what should be happening down the line.  It's all about the glory (and disgrace) of the NBA. Our style is down, dirty, honest, and entertaining, just like Charles Barkley himself. Thanks for peeping what we throw down!

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Knee Jerk NBA


KneeJerkNBA - Portland, Oregon.  Hoops fanatic since Bernard King was dropping 50s.

Check out his blog here.
Dwyane Wade Will Re-Sign With The Heat And Megan Fox Can Act
Written by Dennis Velasco   
Monday, 06 July 2009 23:20

The Miami Heat's Dwyane Wade has made it known that the only way he will re-sign and stay with the Heat is if the team becomes NBA title contenders. Considering Wade can become a free agent after next season, the Heat have the 2009-10 season to turn things around. Sure, becoming legit potential raisers of the Larry O'Brien championship trophy is possible to do in one year. And so are the following...

  • Shaquille O'Neal realizes that he is overexposed and closes his Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, YouTube, 12 Seconds, UStream, Mogulus, and Brazzers accounts... the last one done by accident.
  • Megan Fox gets an acting gig because of her acting range and depth.
  • Upon abstaining from using hair gel, it is revealed that Pat Riley has an afro that would make former New York Knicks great Walt Frazier say, "Daaamn... now that's an afro!"
  • The series finale of "Lost" involves the Cookie Monster, the Fonz, a guy with a meat hook for a hand stained with Skittles water, and Carrot Top; all being members of the Black Rock crew.
  • As a promotion for the impending move to Brooklyn, New Jersey Nets part-owner and superstar rapper, Jay-Z, dons a Nets jersey with the number 99 on it in a picture; he is also pointing at wife Beyonce who is standing next to him in said picture with the following tagline underneath - "We got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one."
  • The news and variety shows televised on Spanish channels find a more appropriate home on Spike TV; the move is made because all men understand Spanish and not because the women on the respective shows are hot. Seriously.
  • Tracy McGrady plays 82 regular season games in 2009-10... and so does Yao Ming.
  • My wife gives me permission to have an affair with Jessica Biel.
  • Jessica Biel actually wants to have an affair with me.
So, in the end, when you consider that D-Wade wants to basically win a championship next season and I want to have a one-night stand (yes, I'll settle for that instead of a regular thing) with Jessica Biel, we all shouldn't hold our collective breaths. Get ready to say goodbye to Flash, Miami.


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