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Barkley's Mouth is all about the NBA as we speak on what's going down in the Association today and what should be happening down the line.  It's all about the glory (and disgrace) of the NBA. Our style is down, dirty, honest, and entertaining, just like Charles Barkley himself. Thanks for peeping what we throw down!

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Top Five Reasons Why The Rockets Are "Screwed" Without Yao
Written by Dennis Velasco   
Tuesday, 30 June 2009 07:52

The Houston Rockets center extraordinaire (when healthy) Yao Ming is possibly going to miss all of the 2009-10 season and maybe even have to stop playing altogether according to Yahoo!'s Adrian Wojnarowski. Man, how crappy is that for the hardcore Houston fans? It would be the equivalent of finding out that your best friend has been in love with you for years... and your best friend is a guy. Of course there's nothing wrong with that, but it would suck ("it" not "he") because it definitely messes up your plans for the future like getting married in a state not named Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, and Maine. WAIT A MINUTE! Sorry, folks, I'm going on a tangent and getting political, something I try not to do.

Let's get back on Yao Ming and his foot, a foot Christy Brown would have killed for... if he wasn't crippled. Crippled people don't really have good aim. Or motor skills. And now, the top five reasons why the Rockets are screwed without Yao:

5. While the Rockets did give the Los Angeles Lakers a run for their money without Yao and Tracy McGrady, that run was spurred on by the nastiness of Ron Artest who is a free agent this summer. But, do the Rockets take a chance on multiple years for the volatile forward and basically let him be the main man for the Rockets? I guess Paris Hilton will judge a modesty contest next, right? Same thing with the Tru Warier being top dog... bad idea.

4. The center depth chart includes the center-sized-challenged Luis Scola (6'9"), Joey Dorsey (6'8"), and Chuck Hayes (6'6"). That's like letting Nikki Blonsky (the big chick from "Hairspray") play all the roles of BM favorite, Megan Fox. Um, no thanks. I can skip the Blonsky Bendover shot.

3. Aaron Brooks, NBA All-Star. Hey, the Chinese votes need to go to someone on the Rockets. Unfortunately, after being named an All-Star, Brooks succumbs to the "Rockets star curse" and breaks his ankle, dislocates his shoulder, gets a really nasty papercut, and starts dating Crystal Taylor, Dirk Nowitzki's ex-girlfriend and soon-to-be baby mama.

2. Dikembe Mutombo retired and won't be able to do his best Yao impersonation. Clearly I am not talking about scoring as Yao, but instead mostly rebounding, blocking the rock, and being an ugly tall guy.

1. Now, Yao and Tracy McGrady will never fulfill their potential as being a great one-two punch and winning an NBA championship like a modern day Hakeem Olajuwon/Clyde Drexler combo. Right... like that was going to happen. Oh man, I just put fudge in the back of my boxers from laughing so hard.



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